DigRat (Twitch Plays Pokemon cocktail)
.75 oz Bourbon
1.5 oz Creme de Cacoa
2.5 oz Root Beer
Twitch Plays Pokemon has become one of the neatest phenomena I’ve seen on the internet. The amount of fan art and content that has come out of it in the few weeks that it has existed is crazy awesome. I simply had to create my own tribute, in drink form, for my newest Geek & Sundry Vlog. Critical Hit Cocktails presents: The DigRat. Earthy ingredients were chosen and served in a cubed glass to represent the digging element of the great/traitorous pokemon and the units of movement in the game. Who was your favorite Pokemon in the generation one Twitch Plays Pokemon playthrough?
uknowudo asked: I lay you back on your, naked, legs spread. I crawl between your legs and start lightly, licking and kissing your inner thighs, slowly inching my way closer to your hot, wet pussy. I pause and look up at you. I then start to lick, kiss, suck and pleasure your pussy and continue for over an hour. almost 2, making you cum over and over again til your body shakes, uncontrollably in spasms of pleasure and ecstasy. I stop to allow you to catch your breath, then, it starts all over again.
You bring me to your room and it becomes immediately clear to me that you are marginally employed and unsurprisingly single. I see that your room is in disarray and your messy bed reeks of sweat and inferiority. I determine that it is my job… nay… my moral obligation to transform you into what society failed to do.
I put away your computer and video game devices and force you outside. The sunlight blinds you and you cover your eyes for you have not seen the light of day in years. I bring you to a barber shop and tell the barber that you are Tom Hanks’ character from “Cast Away” and that you need a proper haircut. You weep openly because you think your disgustingly long, unkempt hair is a representation of your “rebel” and “non-conforming” personality. I call you a hippie and nod approvingly as the barber sculpts you into a normal human being.
I then take you to a local clothing store where we swap out your grunge metal T-shirt and high school gym shorts and fit you with nice fitting jeans, crisp casual dress shirt and a nice blazer. You fumble around with the buttons because you have never worn adult clothes before but the nice store clerk helps you button yourself up. You unwisely ask to wear a full suit because you see other internet doms frolicking around in cheap, ill-fitting suits but I convince you that you should only wear a suit sparingly and that sophisticated, young women know that a full 3-piece suit at a bar makes you look douchey and fake.
I bring you to a local bookstore & coffee shop where nice, young women are reading and/or pretending to write a screenplay. Without my supervision, you immediately approach a woman and tell her a hilariously bad story about how you will have sex with her and make her shake “uncontrollably in spasms of pleasure and ecstasy.” She responds by laughing uncontrollably and remembers why she stopped internet dating. I sternly scold you in public for being such a social inept mutant and demonstrate the proper way to attract a woman. I approach a young woman reading a magazine/textbook/blog and kindly remark that I love reading such magazine/textbook/blog. You marvel at how I am able to speak to a person of the opposite sex without making her run away in fear. You decide to retire from the internet, get a proper job with the goal of later pursuing a financially stable career, meet a nice girl that will hopefully never learn about your extremely pathetic past, and become a productive member of society.